Ducking Francine
Words and music: Alvah Allen Performed by: Alvah Allen and Ward Morford on the Ducking Francine LP (c. 2001)
Alvah’s note: The first 4 lines are borrowed from American poet, Kenneth Patchen. He’s dead, but, even, maybe especially the dead, deserve attribution. The 7th and 8th lines are borrowed from The Psychedelic Furs. At that point, I figured I’d probably borrowed enough.
Lyrics:
Some dinner plates broke
the sun awoke
a waitress in a flowered apron
walked into the scene
She was spoken for
I held the door,
the radio played
Charles Aznavour
It was surreal
not serene
And you got to be
the slowest learner
that I ever seen
my letters keep on
gettin’ shorter
and you oughta know
what that means
Well, my credit’s shot
my nerves’ve got me
just about to slip
on through the cracks
down the stairs
and into the black
October air
I was slowly drainin’
of my charm
she grabbed hold of my arm
and said, “Baby, you’re
much too sweet
to make it ‘round here”
You got to be
the slowest learner
that I ever seen
my letters keep on
gettin’ shorter
and you oughta know
what that means
Get the hell away from me
I’ve got teeth and I’m mean
when I’m duckin’ Francine.
Forlorn and out of it
I’m so easy to read
when I’m duckin’ Francine
She was smokin’
she was hopin’
for deliverance on Copeland
she said, “where do you stay, baby?”
and I said,
“way up on Aberdeen”
She thinks there’s no tomorrow
like she’s in some 50’s novel
she overdosed on Xanax
pretendin’ it was Benzadrine
And you got to be
the slowest learner
that I ever seen
my letters keep on
gettin’ shorter
and you oughta know
what that means
Get the hell away from me
I’ve got teeth and I’m mean
when I’m duckin’ Francine.
Forlorn and out of it
I’m so easy to read
when I’m duckin’ Francine
Well, I couldn’t get far enough away
I got a good job with the Schlumberger
I was workin’ on a rig
just off of New Orleans
Till the man come with the check
and I said, “I betcha I can drink it”
now I’m moppin’ floors
in some casino down in Biloxi
thinkin’ how it’d a all
turned out diff’ernt
if I’d only held the three
You got to be
the slowest learner
that I ever seen
my letters keep on
gettin’ shorter
and you oughta know
what that means
Get the hell away from me
I’ve got teeth and I’m mean
when I’m duckin’ Francine.
Forlorn and out of it
I’m so easy to read
when I’m duckin’ Francine
It used to be such a pleasure
now I’m forever sayin’ never
and all of man’s endeavors
strike me as byzantine
She slowly put back on her dress
and said, “try not to act too impressed,
baby, you got to learn
to love this place,
baby, you got to learn
to love the randomness”
La la la la la la la la la lo lo
Produced by: Bryan James; Recorded at Anvil Audio; Engineered by: Brian Hicks and Jim Learch; Art direction: Jessica Allen; Special thanks to Bryan, Brian and Jim. All songs © 1998 Alvah Allen. All rights reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.