100-Poem Night

(These poems were written in one night. Alvah’s goal was to write 100 poems all in one night. He ended up with 24.)

1.

That’s the current record.
It’s held by an Irishman.

No one has read them all
and no one remembers

his name is Seamus.

2.

I could’ve started earlier
But, I’ve got all night

and it’s day-light savings time.
I’d planned to waste the extra hour

on you, but I planned that
back in September.

3.

15 years ago I was playing
at an open mic and that guy there,

the one sitting across the bar,
had his face blown off. His face was

literally a hole…for years
But, he’s been patient

and they’ve been working on him.
He’s been sitting across bars

most nights, for years,
just being patient

while they worked on him.
I don’t know him, but

I couldn’t admire
him more.

4.

The name of this bar
is Wall Street.

No one has ever made
any money here, including

the bartenders. But, they
let you smoke. So, you know,

you’ll eat your losses.

5.

I drove a girl out
to the country once,

out where they keep the donkeys.
She opened the barn door

and that, as they say,
was that.

6.

Seamus, I’m coming for you,
brother. It’s only 10:02.

I’m 12% here and 6%
there.

7.

I’m thinking about picking up
my guitar again. I don’t know what

my guitar has been thinking about
this whole time. Probably

wondering what key
I’ll start back in. G.

8.

Crows crossing the water.
Crows crossing the water.

That’s too easy, but,
what are you gonna do?

There are crows crossing the water.

9.

What do you call her?
What do you call

that thing she’s got on?
A shrug? I think about

her shoulders and shrug.

10.

Seamus, it’s about quantity
not quality, my friend.

This bar is packed
with God knows who.

You were working without
a jukebox.

I’m working without
a fiddle. And, Karl Wallenda

was working without a net.
If you can call any of it working.

11.

It’s not even, 11.
In fact, 11 is prime.

It’s 10:36, somewhere,
here. Or it was

a minute ago.

12.

I just overheard a dozen
conversations and I wasn’t

even eavesdropping. People
like to hear you

hear themselves talk.
Why would you even

bother with the risk,
climbing up to the eaves.

13.

This one feels lucky
and unlucky.

Like getting stuck in an elevator
with her for 13 minutes

and then, the next day,
getting stuck in an elevator

with her
for 13 hours.

14.

Ok, Seamus, this must be where
you got another pint

and took a break. I’m taking
a break. Oh my God,

she’s tall.

15.

Exactly half my ex-girlfriends
still read my poems.

I have 11 ex-girlfriends
if you count

my ex-wife. You do
the math.

16.

It’s probably time to think
about life and, then,

battery-life. Not necessarily
in that order.

17.

Rosie Ruiz tried to break
Seamus’ record once.

She started at poem 98
and then she stole 3 good ones

off Garcia Lorca. It was Heaney
caught her.

18.

Babe, you mind if I’ve got a mind
like a steel trap? I forget where

we were going with this. Oh, yeah!

No.

19.

When Seamus hit 19
it finally came to him.

So, he went on to 20 without
knowing exactly what it was

came to him. He went on
to 20 anyway, confident

it would come back to him.
And she did, but that was

so many poems later.

20.

A fifth of a fifth of a fifth.
Take the fifth

and slip around back. Act
Presidential.

21.

The second wind finished off
what the first wind left undone.

For a while some of the leaves
got to feel lucky.

Some of what I felt
thought for a minute

it was going to get
to stay there,

to hang on the edge
of her every word.

22.

Shit, Seamus, that was a yawn.
I may have to get all rhyming, or

off-rhyming, just to save my energy.
I may need a walk in the sand

on the strand. And, we don’t even have a
strand here, man.

Well, internally we do.
Internally, we’ve got a Fern Hill, too,

23.

A guy just walked in wearing
a pair of blue Dickie’s.

You can’t make this shit up
or, at least you don’t have to.

I invested in a red pair once,
that’s what she asked for

so she could work on her stuff
and not get it on her.

They were delivered, I guess
but, I never saw them on her.

I could’ve canceled the charge,
I thought about it.

But, what’s $34.95 misspent?
Compared to the misspent time?

What are you gonna do,
buy $34.95 of your love

and summer back?
So, thanks for walking in wearing 23,

brother. And thanks to you,
sweetness. Sweetness?

24.

Seamus, you got me. 100 is a lot.
I gave it my best shot, but you’re

an Irishman and you can write
poems like an Ethiopian

can run a marathan. It’s genetic,
I reckon, or something you

have to work up to. Either way,
a gentleman should know

when to concede,
when to pay his tab,

when to leave Wall Street
and eat his losses.

When to go short
and wait for the crash.

25.

–November 3, 2019